What better gift... She is now an angel...

Being from small town Ontario, we all know everyone. The rich kids, the poor ones, the ones who are your friend regardless of you situation. I can remember going to school when I was a child and dropping my brother off to kindergarten class to his teacher and remembering my first real experience with some one having a baby belly... "Wow, Mrs. Sullivan... I think he is going to be a hockey player..." I said, to the friendly woman... "What ever he or she will be, will be..." Her friendly smile, which sometimes seemed hard to get in the morning around our school, always made me feel better. He wasn't a he thou, She was born, Miss Stacey... Now, Mrs. Sullivan always had a way to make you feel welcome and special, and this was something she passed on to both of her girls. I didn't know Susan as well, but Stacey always had a place for you in her life. Even as a girl, she was your non judgemental friend. She always could find the good in every one! My goodness, she married Jason! KIDDING! I have known the Stillar family for my entire life, and Jason and I have always had a tight bond... The kind of friend you won't see for a year, and then you just seem to pick up where life leaves off... When I was facing my own chaos in my life, both of these two people opened themselves up to me and my children, what ever I needed, they offered to be there. I did call Stacey and bend her ear... She listened, gave me some kind words to get me through my dark time... And she listened again... Or she facebooked me, "haven't heard from you for a bit... Hope things are well..." Stacey had been battling Cancer for almost two years, and she always put everyone else before herself. She always had an upbeat attitude, I asked her one time how she did it... She replied "I am going to be as strong as I can for as long as I can..." Having heard the news Friday that she passed away, I know no one fought harder to stay on this earth longer to be here for Jason and Hunter... I am also blessed to know, that her fight ended on my birthday... I feel bad celebrating your gone, but knowing my special day has something to do with your suffering ending makes me feel more at peace with you leaving... I am going to miss your chats, messages, and smile... I am also not going to take one thing for granted, as that is what 2012 has taught me... Jason and Hunter, my door, phone, email, kitchen is always open to you and I hope now your beautiful angel is resting in peace... Also, I am so proud of the brave fight she put up, but the brave fight you and Hunter put up too... Love the people that treat you right, and direct your energy there...

I am saddened my friend is gone, but glad she is no longer fighting that vile disease.... xxoo

we called him daddy...

His life was full, and far too short. He overcame so many things and thought he was so far away. He was the first to give you the shirt off his back and always the last one to the table. You can look back on his short 37 years and think of all good times, and remember his smile. He struggled with health issues from child hood. Jeff had poorly feet, he use to tell me about all his casts and crutches, and how someone bullied him for his walkman, and how with his cast and crutches on he didn't let any bully take anything, I am sure he lumped that guy. He wouldn't let anyone else be bullied either. When we talked to Tanner about bullying, Jeff shared a story about how kids bullied his best friend Jeff for being different, and they tripped little Jeff, and Jeff lumped them. One of many trips to the principals office. When Jeff and I first started dating, his birthday came around quickly. Chinese food dinner and always a story about how he would go ice fishing as a kid with Brian, Helen and Jenny and their friends, Helen would always ask Jeff "want to go ice fishing?" And jeff would always laugh and say no. Not his favorite thing. When we were married there were stories told about a skate throwing incident. Apparently Jeff threw a skate a Jenny many moons ago. It wasn't until last year, Jeff would ever admit he did that.
Jeff loved video games. I think through out his life he had every system going, and I can honestly say, he kept every single box. When we moved to our house, he had his original nintendo cart, the thing held games and your tv, and it was broke in the move and he was devestated. Just when you think no one could love video games more, along comes Tanner.
Jeff loved his children. Tanner and Addison were the loves of his life, and he was theirs. On a Saturday morning, if Jeff slept in, they would cringe if I walked down the stairs first. Because if it was Daddy, they knew they could talk him into junk for breakfast and video games. He was always playing hockey with them, road, ice, and hallway hockey... Last goal wins... How many times I heard that in his life I can't tell you, but it was said everytime they played. They are sure going to miss their daddy.
Jeff did the best impressions of his dad. And he always wanted to please his parents. He loved them dearly. How many times he would call them, and just call to see what was going on. Not many days went by that he didn't know what was going on in their household. When I was pregnant with Tanner, Jeff's parents built a deck on their house, after many years of not having one. Jeff went out and helped his dad and uncle Donnie. It was July and hot, Donnie and Brian would have no shirt on, and there Jeff would be sweatting buckets. Wouldn't take his shirt off, so driving home I asked why don't you take your shirt off, he said, dad doesn't know I have a tattoo. So, a couple of years later, Jeff had back surgery, and as they moved him into his hospital bed, it was kind of hard not to see his tattoo. We left the hospital to get dinner, and beside the restaurant was a tattoo shop, and jeff's dad just looked at us and said Jeff can get the other arm done there... Jeff laughed when we told him the story.
When you think of Jeff, remember his infectious smile, his harty laugh, his good heart. Think of his children, and how he will live on through them. As hard as it is to say good bye, we will. But we know its not a real good bye, its only see you later. As Tanner and Addison grow up, I hope everyone shares positive memories of Jeff with them, they need those memories because a big whole will be in their hearts, as there is a big hole in all of our hearts.