Tuesday, October 18, 2011

You can do it...

Well this blog is dedicated to the people who have messaged me and are having surgery soon! I have been so encouraged by your dedication! I was reminded of how I thought it was a fate worse then death when I started optifast, and once I got through it, it really wasn't that bad... I survived. Much like these people are going to. One of the best things to remember is this a new tool to start a new lifestyle and I applaud you for being so brave!

Saturday, October 8, 2011

a bottle of wine and a new sucker inner... good to go...

So today is that day! I am attending a wedding with a friend. In the past few weeks I have had to climb out of my shopping comfort zone, Pennigtons, and drag myself to the mall. I have said in previous blogs about all of my anxiety about shopping and so fourth, but today is the calmination of my mall shopping. Now, no worries, I will be posting pictures this week some time. it is just putting it all together. Crazy as it seems, now I am excited. I have worked hard to get here. Small and large steps. Today I am going to treat myself to a glass of wine and put on some of the sexiest clothes I have ever owned and I am going to be proud, hold my head high and strut my stuff! enjoy this beautiful Saturday!

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Happy Thanksgiving....

Well its that time of year again! Break out the fancy dishes and the biggest turkey you can find! Just kidding! Thanksgiving has come upon us again, and it seemed rather quickly for me this year! So what are your family traditions? In years past, I have always marvelled my family with huge turkey dinner, homemade pies and buns, and an assortment of snacks. This year it will be different. The kids are going to their Dad's to celebrate, and I am going to attend a wedding and enjoy an evening with friends. Something I also love to do, is a typical Sunday drive on SUNDAY to check out all the changing leaves. Yes, I am a sentimental sap. I think of last Thanksgiving, spending at my Dad's with 40 other people and revelling is how thankful I was to be there. To enjoy their company and have my extended family around me. That is what I am truly thankful for, is my family. The love and support never fades. We sometimes don't see eye to eye, but we are always there for one another when we need to be. I watch my children get along and fight, and I see how they love each other. When one is not feeling well the other feels for them. This tells me I am on the right track! They are the biggest thing I am thankful for! Something else I am thankful for, finding myself. Not that I was lost, but I felt that I was. Finding myself was beneficial for me, but for my children.
I have received lots of messages in the past week! I love reading them, and I am horrible to respond (Sorry!)! I would like to say, these are the messages that inspire me. These message start with you are inspiring, and then it is there story. I find the stories you are sending me about yourself that are amazing. These life stories are what help others move forward. Even though it seems as though your at lowest depths when your writing your message it is a window for you to be able to express yourself, and release what is happening or bothering you. Thank you and keep on sending them!!!
There are so many things to be thankful for! Life is all around us, so enjoy the beautiful weekend in store and hold your family closer this weekend! Also CONGRATS to Scotty and Jenn! What a wonderful weekend to begin your life together!

I kinda think I look different...

Sometimes it doesn't matter how many times you see yourself, you still can't believe it is you. I have been grappling with that for months.When I fold my laundry, I see smaller clothes. When I am doing my hair, I think who is that. I remember when Oprah had people who had gastric bypass on her show. I remember listening to their stories and their stories inspiring me to make changes. But I also remember the one lady saying, how crazy it was for her to see herself smaller. I completely get it now. I thought I had a good handle on my transformation, and for the most part I do. But sometimes I still look for the fat girl. I don't mean to offend anyone with that statement, but for years that is how I felt. Now I just feel different. For the most part I feel confident, but sometimes I still think is this really me and when do I start gaining the weight back? I know that with the changes I have made I will always work hard to keep my hard work up, but I still sometimes have a problem with body image. I am looking to having the skin removed. I think one of the biggest motivators for that is that the excess skin still makes me feel heavy. I know the realistics of it, I know I am not, but seeing that in the mirror everyday makes me feel like what did I work for? It shouldn't, but it does! One of the best things about doing all of this is how I feel! For those of you that know me, I had an incredible amount of energy before. But now, I seem to have more!

I think that the best part of life is learning to deal with transformations, in any shape and size, for they change you for the good or bad, and make you who you are! Happy Thursday!