Sometimes it doesn't matter how many times you see yourself, you still can't believe it is you. I have been grappling with that for months.When I fold my laundry, I see smaller clothes. When I am doing my hair, I think who is that. I remember when Oprah had people who had gastric bypass on her show. I remember listening to their stories and their stories inspiring me to make changes. But I also remember the one lady saying, how crazy it was for her to see herself smaller. I completely get it now. I thought I had a good handle on my transformation, and for the most part I do. But sometimes I still look for the fat girl. I don't mean to offend anyone with that statement, but for years that is how I felt. Now I just feel different. For the most part I feel confident, but sometimes I still think is this really me and when do I start gaining the weight back? I know that with the changes I have made I will always work hard to keep my hard work up, but I still sometimes have a problem with body image. I am looking to having the skin removed. I think one of the biggest motivators for that is that the excess skin still makes me feel heavy. I know the realistics of it, I know I am not, but seeing that in the mirror everyday makes me feel like what did I work for? It shouldn't, but it does! One of the best things about doing all of this is how I feel! For those of you that know me, I had an incredible amount of energy before. But now, I seem to have more!
I think that the best part of life is learning to deal with transformations, in any shape and size, for they change you for the good or bad, and make you who you are! Happy Thursday!
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